I'm not going into details but something just now happened and its made me feel lower than is humanly possible, and I think I'm a bad person who just pisses everyone off and everyone thinks is the biggest bullshitter in the universe. I never knew that someone I loved could say such things and make me feel so shit that I'm shaking, crying, suffering a runny nose and with a headache coming on on to cap it off. Even my throats constricted. I'm actually in shock. As in medical shock as well as "ZOMG" shock. I was angry with this person a bit because they blamed me for interfering when I wasn't and then had a go at me that really shouldnt have affected me this badly but it had done. My Dad is king of psychological games to make someone feel like they didnt deserve to be human, he used to do it to me all the time. This person though, has made me feel unfit to even be a single celled amebia. I always knew this person thought I was lying about asopects of my life, but I thought it was because she was so nice that she didnt think humans were capable of being nasty to each other. But I was mistaken. What hurts most is that I actually loved her like a mother, and maybe even dared believe she possibly was fond of me back. But now its bloody clear she thinks I'm a bad influence, a manipulative bitch and a liar. When someone you see as a parental figurehead makes you feel as shit as I do right now, it fucking hurts. Even more when you never really had parents who gave a toss about you in the first place. I'm back in the place I was when I was sixteen again, where I cant see a way out of it and I just want to curl up and hide from the world because the world doesnt like me. Everyone only claims to like me, they all hate me I'm sure. I'm a nasty person, I have to be for this to happen the whole fucking time, over and over again. What am I doing wrong? I don't consider myself a bad person, I thought I was friendly. No one thinks I am really. I'm more hated than Hitler, and by less people. I never thought it was possible to feel as worthless as I do right now. I dont care if you read this and think I'm a complete bloody emo kid, Emo's fake it, this is real. I'm not after attention, I just need reassurance I'm not a terrible person. I need to vomit out my feeling somewhere in the vain hope it'll take the pain out of me a little. I have a headache and my heads going to explode with all this in it right now. So I'm splurging here, because I was near the laptop when all this happened. I'm going to go now, read a book or soemthing to make myself forget all of this, not that it will work well.